Sade's Secret Read online

  Calvin must have sensed me watching him because he opened up his eyes and said, “Hey baby. Why don't you join me?”

  “In a minute.” I removed a pair of shorts and my Dallas Cowboys t-shirt from the dresser drawer. After placing them on, I slipped in the bed beside him. Calvin attempted to make a move on me, but I was tired and not in the mood for any hanky panky. “You need to brush your teeth.” I avoided his kisses by turning over in the bed and placing my back towards him.

  “You keep acting like that, I might have to find me another woman,” Calvin said, in a non-joking manner.

  “Whatever, Calvin. I'm sleepy. We can continue this when I wake up.”

  “I'll be gone when you wake up,” Calvin responded.

  I felt the bed move when he got out, but refused to turn around to face him. Instead, I mumbled, “I would be so lucky.”

  “What did you say?” Calvin asked.

  “Calvin, please. Let me be so I can sleep.” I shut my eyes tight, hoping Calvin would just leave.

  “I'm tired of being ignored, Joyce. You better get it together or you're going to lose me for real.”

  On a mission to tune out Calvin's whining voice, I pulled the covers over my head. I exhaled as soon as I heard the door shut. I hated myself sometimes because I had become so dependent on Calvin. His sex game had me hooked. He was like a drug habit that I couldn't shake. As much as I claimed to be Ms. Independent, I just didn't have the willpower to leave him.

  His charm, his sexy abs, and the way he made me feel kept me in our yo-yo relationship. If Calvin left on his own, I could possibly break the habit, but then again, I would probably be miserable because in spite of his faults, he was the only man I had been with in so long.

  I thought about what he said about losing him and I wasn't ready for that to happen so as tired as I was, I got out of bed. I could hear Calvin in the shower. I didn't want to risk losing him to another woman, so I did what any other woman would do to try to hold on to her man. I gave him the attention that he wanted. I took off my clothes, dropped them on the bathroom floor, and joined him in the shower.

  An hour later, Calvin was retrieving money out of my purse, and I didn't care because sleep was calling my name. He walked to my side of the bed and kissed me on the cheek. “Baby, I'll be back by the time you wake up. I got a few things I want to do.”

  “Okay, baby,” I responded, without questioning him. Calvin being happy was all that mattered to me. If he was happy, then I would be able to sleep peacefully.

  I drifted off to sleep as Calvin walked out the front door to a destination unknown.

  ~3~

  SADE

  Sade! Sade!” my fifteen-year-old best friend, Crystal, said several times to get my attention.

  “What? I'm trying to get me some sleep.” I rubbed my sleepy eyes and sat up in the bus seat.

  “Ooh, were you on the phone with Rodrick all night?” Crystal asked.

  “No. Just was up late last night. Wake me up when we get to school.”

  Rodrick was a senior who claimed he liked me and he wasn't afraid to let me know every chance he got. Truth be told, I liked him too, but I just wasn't ready for a serious relationship. My focus had been on keeping my grades up and singing. I had plans on being the next big star out of Dallas. People, especially boys, always said I had a body like Beyonce and everyone knew I could out sing Fantasia on any given day.

  I planned to use all of my assets to make it in the music business. I was thrilled when I was accepted into Booker T. Washington High School for Performing and Visual Arts. Several of my favorite singers, like Norah Jones and Erykah Badu graduated from Booker T. and I was determined to follow in their footsteps. Plus with a name like the famous singer, how can I not succeed?

  Thinking of fame was the last thought in my mind before I drifted off into a light sleep. Just when the sleep was getting good, I felt a slight shake.

  “We're here,” Crystal said.

  Still sleepy, I slowly grabbed my backpack and exited the bus behind Crystal. Dena waved at us and we walked in her direction. Out of us three, Dena was the shortest and people mistook her for being younger than what she really was because of her round baby face. We were all fifteen and were like the three musketeers.

  Dena and Crystal were my best friends. We had been friends since elementary school. Although Dena's parents moved to another neighborhood several years ago, we kept in touch. We were thrilled when we all were accepted into the school that was known for its performing arts and academic program.

  “What's up?” Dena asked, as we greeted each other with a hug.

  “Would be fine if I wasn't so sleepy,” I responded.

  “Hope you don't fall asleep in Ms. Franks class again,” Crystal said.

  “Oh, I won't.”

  “Shorty, let me holla at you for a minute.” At six feet two inches tall, seventeen-year-old Rodrick's skin was so smooth that it reminded me of a cup of milk chocolate cocoa.

  I looked at Rodrick then back in Crystal and Dena's direction. “I'll catch up with y'all in class.” I turned and faced Rodrick. “What's up?”

  “You're what's up. When are you going to give me the pleasure of taking you out?” Rodrick said as he eased next to me, towering down at my mere five feet five inch frame.

  “You know my mom won't allow me to date until I am sixteen,” I responded, as we walked up the walkway towards the school.

  “There's a school dance this Friday. Promise you'll be my date. Your mom won't have to know.”

  Rodrick, always a gentleman, held the front door opened and waited for me to walk in before following behind me.

  “I'll think about it.” I liked Rodrick, but I didn't want him to think I was easy. There were many girls of all races who would love to be in my shoes and hook up with him, but he seemed to be ignoring them because lately, he's been too busy trying to get with me.

  Rodrick walked ahead of me and stopped. He was now blocking me from moving. His big brown eyes twinkled. “I promise to be on my best behavior.”

  I could feel my resistance wavering. “Okay. I'll meet you here Friday. I’d better not catch you up in some other chick's face either.”

  Rodrick smiled. “You've made me the happiest boy at Booker T.”

  “Yeah, yeah.” I did my best to play it off, but I was excited about our upcoming date.

  Rodrick walked me to class and we both were smiling from ear-to-ear. Dena and Crystal couldn't wait for me to sit down before trying to find out what happened with Rodrick and me.

  “Shh,” I said, not wanting everybody in my business as I slipped behind the desk in between them. “I'm going with Rodrick to the dance,” I whispered.

  Before either of them could ask for more details, our homeroom teacher walked in. Ms. Kravitz didn't play. Without Ms. Kravitz asking, we pulled out our English Literature book.

  “You can put your books away,” Ms. Kravitz said. “Today, you'll be taking a pop quiz. Let's see what you can remember about Native Son by Richard Wright.”

  “I'm screwed,” Crystal said. “I haven't read it at all.”

  “Neither have I,” Dena responded.

  “Y'all can copy off my paper. I know this stuff like the back of my hand,” I said with confidence.

  Dena wiped her forehead. “You're a lifesaver.”

  Once again, I have to rescue my friends. They both looked at me to be the backbone and their strength when there were many days and nights I didn't feel like being strong for myself. Crystal and Dena were unaware that I knew a lot because reading and studying provided me a mental escape from the hell I endured at home being at the beck and call of Calvin, also known as the devil himself.

  ~4~

  SADE

  Friday couldn't come quick enough for me. The knee length tight black knitted dress hugged all of my curves. I admired myself in the full-length mirror nailed to the opposite end of my closet door. I turned to view myself at different angles. Not only would Rodrick's head tu
rn when I entered the dance, so would the other guys.

  “My, my, my. Looking good mamasita. Don't our little girl look good, baby,” Calvin said as he stood in front of my bedroom door.

  “I knew I should have kept my door shut,” I mumbled.

  Joyce walked up behind Calvin. “That dress is a little too short. You need to change.”

  Before I could protest, a knock was heard at the front door. “I don't have time. That's Crystal and her cousin Jada now.”

  Joyce gave me another look over. She walked up to me, tugged on the hem of the skirt, and pulled it. It stretched a few inches. “I guess it's alright. Where did you get the money to buy that anyway?”

  “I borrowed it from Dena,” I lied. I actually got the money from Calvin earlier during the week. I then snuck to one of the stores downtown and purchased it.

  Calvin interrupted my thoughts. “Baby, let her go, so we can have us a little we time.”

  For once, I'm glad to hear Calvin intervene. “Thanks, Mom, for letting me go.”

  I gave my mom a hug and headed toward the front door.

  “I want your behind back here no later than midnight. You hear me,” Joyce said to me as she held the front door open.

  Crystal stood on the other end of the door. “Hi, Ms. Joyce.”

  “Crystal, how are you dear? You look beautiful.” Joyce cleared her throat. “See that's the kind of dress you should have worn.”

  Crystal's dress wasn't that much longer than mine was. It was just a different style. The red satin dress was flared at the end, but still accented Crystal's figure. With her auburn hair pent up, she looked like a younger version of the model Tyra Banks, including the height. The four-inch heels she wore accented her long lean legs.

  “Oh mom.” I rolled my eyes and said, “Come on Crystal.”

  “Midnight,” Joyce yelled out as I rushed Crystal down the walkway.

  “What's up with your mom?” Crystal asked.

  “She's tripping.”

  Crystal said, “We got to wait on Jada to pick us up and you know she be on her own time. Plus, she knows about a house party, so I say we skip out of the dance around ten and head to it.”

  “I don't know about that,” I said.

  “Well, if you ain't down, you might as well stay home. 'Cause that's the plan.”

  We stopped a few feet away from where Jada was parked in her mom's black Ford Taurus.

  I really wanted to hang out with Rodrick and my friends so staying at home wasn't an option. I shrugged my shoulders and responded, “Why not? My mom will never find out as long as I'm home by midnight.”

  “I'm sure if Jada can't get you home, somebody at the party should. Some more of my cousins should be there.”

  “Cool. I'm game.”

  “Let's go.”

  Crystal got in the front seat, while I eased into the back. After exchanging friendly chitchat, Jada blasted Lil' Wayne's latest CD all the way to Booker T. I tried to mask my nervousness. I was far from being confident. My palms sweated as I thought about meeting Rodrick at the dance for my first official date ever. Don't get it twisted. I've been to other school dances, but this was the first time I had an actual date.

  “I'll be back to pick y'all up at ten. Be right here. Don't have me waiting,” Jada said as Crystal and I exited the car.

  “We'll be here,” Crystal assured her.

  I didn't have to look for Rodrick because as soon as Crystal and I walked into the dance auditorium, he walked up to me.

  “You're the best looking chick here,” Rodrick said as he leaned down and gave me a hug and kiss on the cheek.

  The butterflies in my stomach danced around. At that moment, I felt like a million bucks and the luckiest girl at Booker T.

  “What about me?” Crystal cleared her throat and asked with a huge smile on her face.

  “You look good too, but Sade's my girl, so you know I only have eyes for her.”

  “Ooh, she got your nose wide open,” Crystal teased.

  “She sure does and I'm not ashamed to say it either.” Rodrick reached down and grabbed my hand. “Follow me to our seat.” He looked over at Crystal. “You too.”

  “I don't want to be a third wheel.”

  “Come on,” I said. I was nervous and didn't want to be left alone with Rodrick. Having Crystal near would help me relax, or so I thought.

  The deejay for the dance played all the latest tunes. “Would you like to dance?” Rodrick asked me when the latest Lil’ Wayne song blasted through the place.

  How could I resist Rodrick's big puppy-dog eyes? I allowed him to guide me to the dance floor and we danced on every song for the next hour. It wasn't until we returned to our seats that I noticed Dena was there.

  Dena was in black leather pants, a matching halter top revealing her flat stomach, and black stilettos. If my mom thought the outfit I had on was too tight, I know for a fact she would never let me come out of the house wearing the “come get me” outfit Dena was wearing.

  Rodrick said, “I'll be right back. I'm going to get us something to drink.”

  “Okay. I'll be right here,” I responded, as I slipped in the seat next to Dena. “Girl, I love that outfit. You'll have to let me borrow it sometimes,” I said.

  “That big booty of yours would split this wide open.”

  “If your phat ass could fit in it, I know I can wear it too,” I protested.

  “We were blessed in that department, now weren't we?” We gave each other a high-five and laughed.

  Several guys came up to our table, but I turned down all of their advances because Rodrick was the only guy I was interested in being with. Dena, however, decided to take one of the guys up on his offer and left me alone to go dance with a guy she had been having her eyes on all year.

  I wondered what was taking Rodrick so long. He should have been back with our drinks by now. Tired of waiting, I got up and went in search of Rodrick. I scanned the room and to my surprise, Rodrick was holed up in the corner with another chick.

  My blood pressure skyrocketed as I saw how intimate the two looked. “Oh, no he didn't. Don't nobody play Sade Washington.”

  Normally, I'm mild mannered. However, there were some lines you didn't cross and disrespect was one of them. I picked up a cup of punch off the table and made a beeline straight where Rodrick and the mysterious girl stood all cuddled up. When I got closer to where he stood, I called out, “Rodrick.”

  Apparently, he didn't hear me over the loud music so I got closer and yelled louder. “Rodrick.”

  He turned around and stuttered, “Sade, it's not what you think.”

  Maybe because of the sick relationship I had with Calvin, it made me very sensitive when it came to boys. The fact that Rodrick had made me put my guards down and appeared to try to play with my emotions made me snap.

  “Screw you Rodrick.” I didn't wait for any other responses. I threw the drink from the cup in his face. Some of it splashed on the mysterious girl, who shrieked.

  The girl yelled out obscenities and I left them both trying to clean up the mess.

  ~5~

  JOYCE

  Here I go again dealing with Calvin's shit. I paced back and forth in the living room. It was after eleven and Calvin was nowhere in sight. My attempts on calling Calvin's cell phone were unsuccessful. Each time I called his number, the phone call went straight to voice mail. I couldn't stand Calvin's best friend Mark. When I called him, he claimed to have a bad connection, but never called me back. I'm sure Mark knew exactly where Calvin was.

  I probably should have been concerned about Sade's whereabouts since her curfew was quickly approaching, but right now; I'm concerned about my man and most importantly, whom he was with. This was supposed to be our date night. After Sade left for the dance, Calvin received a phone call and then made an excuse about having to go help out Mark with something.

  I stopped and looked at myself in the bedroom mirror. Contrary to Calvin's complaints, I admitted to myself that I was
n't a bad looking woman. Yes, I'd put on a few pounds over the years, but contrary to how Calvin tried to make me feel, men still approached me.

  My insecurities had a way of making me think the worse about things. I'm sure most of the guys had ulterior motives, so I never took their advances seriously. Besides, Calvin was probably right. He was the only man who loved me. Flaws and all.

  The thought of losing Calvin to another woman made me want to cry. We didn't have a fairytale relationship, but I loved him and knew he loved me too. There's no way I could lose him to another woman.

  I stopped pacing the floor and rummaged through Calvin's dresser drawer. If I had to search through every drawer, I was determined to find something, anything, a clue to where he was. Bingo. I tore open one of Calvin's old cell phone bills. I skimmed the pages until I got to the page with the call logs on it. One number stood out. “Who the hell is this three four nine number? I hope this is not some woman's number because if it is, all hell's about to break loose up in this camp.”

  My eyes blurred as I noticed the same number dialed at odd times of the night. I clenched my teeth as I continued to scan the page.

  “This is some bull,” I yelled as I mentally compared the long night phone calls from the three four nine number to the times I worked the night shift.

  I retrieved my cell phone from the dresser and used star six nine before dialing the number.

  A female answered the phone. Now that I had her on the phone, what should I say? I thought. I remained silent.

  “Hello,” the female repeated herself.

  If steam could exit my ears, they would. I was livid. “Let me speak to Calvin?” I didn't even pretend to be nice.

  “Who is this?” the female asked.

  “I'm his wife,” I lied as I emphasized the word wife so there would be no misunderstandings on who I was to Calvin.